Yep – I’m faking it!

I have no idea what I am doing! This blog started with a thought, that grew into an idea and that idea has been following me around for about two years! It has morphed, changed, grown bigger and smaller, been too scary and felt unattainable. But this nudging idea has not given up, it’s kept my brain churning and I’ve been constantly procrastinating on it till NOW.

So here I am. I’m choosing to say – oh well, it’s not going to be perfect. I’m going to just give it a shot and pretend. I’ll fake it, till someone notices. I’m going to write a blog. I’m going to design a website that not only looks pretty, but one that will inspire me to include good content, and hopefully draw in some people to read about my strange thoughts and art processes.

5 TIMES I’VE FAKED IT

1. First day of high school

Lots of people “say” being a teenager is an awkward stage, but that was an understatement for me! I was the top of the awkward scale. I totally lacked confidence, had uncontrollable frizzy hair, bracers, acne and my school uniform hung off my lanky physic. I had to draw out this fake confidence in myself to get through day one, meet and greet, (aka find your BFF for the next six years). I’m cringing remembering this!

2. New job

After three years of University completely squashing my creative juices, I took a risk. I was 22 and asked in a job interview “What is your dream job?”, I could see the interview wasn’t going well and my outfit was clearly not trendy enough for the store. So instead of answering what I thought I should, I told him something I’d never really considered but in that moment, it was the truth; “Flight attendant”.

When I didn’t get a call back, I took a risk and applied for a job at Virgin. I got an interview and before I knew it, I was flying domestic flights as Cabin Crew. I remember my first week flying, I had to pretend to look confident when walking through the airport in uniform. While in reality, I was freaking out because I had no idea where my gate was - yep, totally faking it!

3. When My Friend Told Me She Was Pregnant

Here’s a super personal one. I try to be an honest person, but by nature I’m a people pleaser. So when it comes to an awkward situation, I run from conflict and try to hide it with smiles. It’s not always the right thing to do, I know. I'm sure I'm not alone when it comes to faking a reaction to keep the peace.

One particular time I received a pregnancy announcement text from a gorgeous friend. I so wanted to be excited for her, but it felt like such a kick in the guts as I had planned in my head that I would be pregnant by that point. I remember how much it stung as I wrote a congratulatory message back, unaware I would fall pregnant with Jethro soon after.

Jethro Grant 2 days old - at Women's and Children's Hospital in Adelaide.

4. First Art Exhibition

My very first exhibition was commissioned by the Adelaide City Council. I was ecstatic when I got the email that I had been selected. But to get to that opportunity I had to FAKE IT! I had to write an application about my experience and actually write that I was a visual artist. (Mind you I didn’t fake any of the facts, but I had just never claimed the “ARTIST” title). When they believed me, that was when I started to finally think, maybe it was true.

Blyth Street Light Box Gallery - Photo by Steve Rendoulis.

5. First Blog

Here we are now! I’m totally pretending that I know how to write conversationally, but short (failing in the short bit). And yes, I definitely know how to do all the tech stuff, like with links and things… actually no I don’t… I’ve got so much to learn. And that is actually the reason I’m writing this blog.

To learn.

I’m interested in blogging and I’m interested in creativity. I want to share with you what I know and find out more about the stuff that baffles me. I want to write about my fear, doubts and stress when starting a new project. So, expect an honest blog about all things creative.